Jan. 9th, 2013

Lintimacy

Jan. 9th, 2013 10:32 am
tevere: Kobe Bryant in a ridiculous white hood (Kobe)
During that whirlwind six weeks of Yuletide, when I was reading every goddamn NBA blog, profile, article and book in existence, I discovered something so shocking that it completely upended my understanding of the world: sports-loving dudes are shippers too. See, I had always had the erroneous belief that people who were into sports were, you know, into the sports, and when people 'talked sport' they were talking about boring things like stats and power rankings. But no! As hockey fandom discovered aeons ago, it turns out that people who are into sports spend 90% of their time creating and analysing narratives about all their favourite personalities, often outlining elaborate character arcs of courtship and betrayal based on snippets from Twitter, a couple of Instagram photos, and some bitter locker-room interviews. Dudes into sports spend all their time doing exactly what we in female-dominated online fandom do, just without taking things to their logical conclusion. Basically, they're into smarm, except that they call it the 'bromance'.

This morning The Boy dropped this Lin/Parsons photospam into my inbox, courtesy of the dudebros on Reddit. It's... epically shippy. It's possibly one of the shippiest things I've ever seen. Just when you think there couldn't possibly be any more, it keeps going. Cosy dinners! Christmas shopping! FIFA battles! The most I feel for Lin is a vague sense of solidarity, and all I know about Parsons is that his nickname is 'Chandler Bang', and to be honest the resentment inherent in Lin/Harden is a ten times more interesting dynamic, but... yeah. I could go with this. I hate an animated gif as much as the next person with an antiquated computer, but it really does just come down to this:


Lintimacy

And of course this ship already has a Lin-related pun as a nickname. Of course it does.

(30-second Jeremy Lin primer by a non-expert! A Taiwanese-American and pretty great at basketball, he was possibly overlooked by college scouts due to being, you know, Asian. So he went to Harvard, which doesn't offer basketball scholarships. He didn't get drafted out of Harvard, and spent some time bumming around in the D-League. Eventually he landed with the Knicks for the 2011-2012 season, becoming the first American of Chinese descent to play in the NBA, and rocked the fuck out of the league in a phenomenon known as Linsanity. Then he got injured and had to sit out the second half of the season. Then there was a bitter trading kerfuffle and he ended up at the Rockets, where he has... not been awesome, and everyone's mad that he gets to be an All Star due to the 'China vote' rather than having given an All Star-quality performance this season. And I mean, he's not my favourite, but I do feel for the guy. It's hard being the centre of so much hype, not to mention having to 'represent' your entire race and deal with all the Asian stereotypes and general racist shit being flung around by the media. Remember ESPN's 'chink in the armour' headline? Yeah. As a person, he's down to earth (he famously couch-surfed for weeks in New York while playing for the Knicks), endearingly dorky, and super-religious.)

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